Sadistic Bastard
by Wereshark
Summary: So this is my version of Senyu. Starts of from when they are all traveling together. So Ros has not left them yet. YAY! And this is a boy x boy story because that's just how I do. Don't like it don't read. Rating may change later on.
1. Damned Masochists

Bread. Alba could not comprehend the lack of love people had for the crispy yet fluffy thing called bread.

And yet people were cruel enough to mistake the lovely food for bland.

Misinterpretating it's sweet nothingness for bland, boring, and unnutriteous.

And nothing could ever change his mind about his sweet sweet bread... unless the rumors magically turned out to be true.

Which unexpectantly, they were.

After three miserable days of eating nothing but crispy air...yes, it was becoming quite bland.

Not only "bland" but dull, boring, tedious, and downright dreary.

Damn those liars who said it was simply bland.

They should be handfed a dictionary along with cold, hard, (not to mention damp) fucking bread.

And if that didn't ruin his appetite, the image of Mii-chan bashing his head against a rock cheerfully while Januar and Riku watch from a safe distance with a mix between horror and slight interest on their face, did.

There was of course one person who didn't bother to distance himself from the masochistic cat at all, in fact allowing himself a front row seat view of the self harming cat.

All while nibbling on a damn piece of bread and looking at complete ease with the world, a slight smile on his white ugly smug face.

Freaking sadist.

Alba straightened his black and white (no it was not a prison outfit...it just happened to resemble one very closely..) striped shirt, determined to make Ros as miserable as the rest of them.

Alba softly made his way over to his friend...I mean...Alba made his way over to his not friend, manly like.

Kicking the disturbing cat on the way just for show, which only cause Mii-chan to yelp in joy

...gross.

He planted his hands on his hips femininely like, I mean manly like...when he reached Ros, who simply turned his gaze slightly upward. His calm happy like state turning into one of disinterest when he saw Alba.

Alba congratulated himself on his awesomeness as he prepared for his bashing on Ros. Which would include things like the creepy satisfied look he seemed to take on whenever he watched Mii-chan hurt himself, or the way he always seems to switch moods from unnaturally protective to downright emotionless and blunt, or maybe make fun of his stupid purple eyes. Seriously, what is up with that. And maybe even comment on the damn way his hair always seems to defy gravity. The thing could be used as a damn weapon...

Or at least that's what he would have said, if Ros hadn't beat him to it.

"Why are you staring at me with that damn grin on your face...stupid pervert..." The spiky haired boy mumbled, scowling as he ripped off yet another chunk of his unflavored bread.

"Per-pervert!" Alba restated, becoming flustered, "I'm the pervert? I'm not the one enjoying the show?"

"You enjoy Mii-chans shows...that's weird. I never took you for the sadistic kind," he sighed looking thoughtfully up at the sky, "you're more revolting then I thought."

"I do-I DO NOT!" The brunette cried, smoothing down his shirt vigorously while pointing his finger at Ros "YOU'RE THE SADISTIC PERVERT HERE, NOT ME."

"Shhh Alba...I see the way you stare longingly at me."

"Wha-"

"I can see in your eyes that you wish to torchure me for your own sadistic pleasures..."

"It's not like that!"

"Or maybe it isn't like that..."

"It's not!"

"Maybe it the other way around."

"What other way."

"Maybe you want me to torment you." Ros looked at Alba with a mix of hopefulness and disgust. Something only he could pull off.

"That's sick!" The hero spat back.

"You're a masochist."

"I'm not like that Ros!"

"Oh that's right," Ros smirked knowingly, "you aren't."

"That's...right." Alba exhaled, lowering his finger slowly and gazing confusedly back at the other boy.

"It's just not your thing." Ros shrugged.

"Yupp!"

"You fetish is something completely different."

"...riiighht..."

"You like...slime."

"Wha-WHAT! WHY!" Alba burst into horror, a blush from either anger or embarrassment making it's way up his neck.

"You want to rub it all over your body-"

"NO!"

"You want to smell it-"

"Never!"

"Stroke it-"

"What..."

"And sometimes...when your really into it...you want to. Eat. It..."

...

...

The camp was silent for a few moments. Alba hiding behind his fingers, fighting down his blush (which he decided was definitely from anger), Ros eating his bread in silence, and the rest watching in mild interest.

"Jeez Alba," Ruki spoke up, "you really are disgusting like everyone says."

She blushed.

...

It was at times like these that it wasn't that hard to believe she was the king of demons...or queen...whatever.

Alba stalked away in defeat, kicking that cat on his way to his camping spot in frustration.

The sound of Mii-chan howling in pleasure sent waves of disgust down his spine.

Damned masochists...


	2. Slime Pervert

Alba woke up in a pale sweat, twitching uncomfortably.

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I have to PEE!" He mumbled to no one in particular.

The open sky was pitch black, no stars in sight.

Which would be nice for coverage when he had to piss.

Except for the fact, it wasn't nice. And he couldn't see jack squat.

'Mmmmpghrjk' he grumbled while pushing himself up onto his elbows, attempting to gets better view of the perimeter.

He searched somewhat frantically for a bush that could act for coverage, but was proved unlucky when his frantic searching was met by nothing but three snoring figures, a twitching cat, and a random lump staring into the sky in the distance.

Wait.

Random lump staring into the sky?

Random lump...

Lump...

Perfect.

Alba military styled crawled over to the unmoving lump. Silently thanking god for the peeing spot.

The closer he got, the less it began looking like a random lump and the more it began to look like a blanket.

Not that that bothered him, he wasn't picky on his peeing spots.

Except for the fact that the blanket was breathing. A breathing blanket. Now that just plain creepy.

God was laughing at him, he was sure.

His bladder burned and he silently agreed with himself to dwell on the subject latter. Peeing was now his top priority. Right next to proving he was the hero.

The night was silent and holy as he released himself out on the odd figure, releasing a slow sigh.

All was right with the world.

All was righ-

"OH GOD WHYYYYYYY!" The once still blanket began to screech in horror.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry strange creature! I wouldn't have...I didn't mean to...I thought..." Alba began, trying to use his awesome human skills to calm the beast.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU DAMNED SLIME PERVERT!"

A shadow began to rise from beneath the blanket, rising higher and higher until it towered over Alba. Urine falling off the figure like rain.

Ewe.

"AHA! And that is where you are wrong foul creature. It is I! Hero, who will slay you!"

Alba reeked confidence through and through. He laughed hotly into the air. He unsheathed his sword...until the blanket began to slither away, showing the creatures true form.

Alba drew out his sword, looking like an awesome demigod.

He swung his weapon at the hideous beast, causing the foul creature to hiss in pain.

"You will not hurt my friends!" Alba shouted heroically, as he delivered one final blow to the monsters chest.

The monster screeched into the cold air before awesomely exploding.

His friends gathered around him, clapping him on the back for being such an amazing sexy hero.

Or atleast, that's what would have happened.

If the creature beneath didn't end up being so...so...ugly.

"AHHHHH!" Albas scream could be heard throughout the world as he gazed at the monster beneath, "ITS THE MOST UGLY THING IVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! DEAR GOD GUYS CAN YOU HEAR ME! WAKE UP AND HELP ME DEFEAT THIS THI-oh Ros."

"Dammit Alba..." Ros hissed, his purple eyes forming slits.

A low grumble came from Albas teammate, a dark shadow emitting from him.

Which seemed impossible, considering that it was already night.

But he did it. Ros emitted a slowly increasing shadow that appeared to have been sent from from hell itself.

The shadow seemed to crawl towards Alba, like some snake...or lizard...or something just as horrendous.

"Ros...Ros, please don't kill me...I really did think you were some ugly creature from hell," Abla whispered, using his awesome people skills to calm his 'friend,' "no...honestly. If-if I knew it was you hiding under that lump, I would have never-"

"Shut. Up. Alba." Was the last thing he heard before he was forced to sleep in a blanket wrapped in his own urine.

...

The two laid side by side romantically. Ros smelling like dead fish after having cleaned himself in the river of life (which was ironically filled with dead fish) and alba being wrapped in a blanket of his own piss.

Life was good.

Alba silently cried with his eyes in disgust as he felt the piss slowly drying around him. (Yes, he cried with his eyes. What else would he cry with? His nose. Ewe.)

Ros, however, seemed perfectly content with lying in the dirt at three in the morning. Enjoying the wonderful smells being provided from around them and gazing into the black sky.

He even began to hum some monotone distasteful song.

Which drove Alba absolutely insane. To the point where he wanted to choke his sadistic, always calm friend.

"Sssshhhhh Ros...shhhhhh."

The humming abruptly ended. Moments later being replaced by Ros chuckling.

"Is something the matter Slime Pervert? I thought you liked my singing."

"Firstly your singing is hideous, and B, my name is not Slime Pervert your jerk."

Ros scowled, looking thoroughly irritated "wait what?" Ros scoffed, "you can't...you don't say things like that."

"Well it's true. You're the most sadistic jerk I've ever met...ever."

"Well duh loser, I know that." Ros smirked gazing up at the sky, "I mean you don't say 'Firstly' and then say 'B.'"

"Oh okay...wait what?" Alba huffed confused.

"It's either firstly and secondly or A and B. You can't do both. And if I can't call you Slime Pervert, then what am I s'posed to call you?" Ros asked, magically pulling out a hardened chunk of bread to nibble on.

"Hero." Alba stated confidently. "Everyone should call me, hero."

At that Ros sighed sadly. Remaining silent as he gazed back up at the sky. The sudden tense air causing Alba to shift uncomfortably.

"You know. I think there's a story you might like to hear." Ros exclaimed, not meeting Albas gaze.

Alba scoffed.

"I'm not a child. I don't need ridiculous bed time stories to put me to sleep."

"Shut up, I'm starting."

'_Once upon a time there was an old violin shop run by an old man and his apprentice. _

_No violin was exactly like another, each made with its own purpose._

_Each day the apprentice would test out his masters newest violin._

_Villagers and maids would come outside each day to listen to each unique song._

_And everyday the violins provided different reactions, as promised by the violin maker._

_Some violins produced sounds that would cause the villagers to cry, other violins would make them angry or laugh_

_Large and small, soft and loud violins were sold. Each unique villager choosing the one that fit them best._

_But one day the apprentice came upon a violin so beautiful it healed the sick and cured the wounded._

_Everyone danced and everyone sung for hours and days, to weeks and months._

_He felt that after there being created a violin so perfect, they'd never have to make another again._

_If each violin could be as perfectly made as this one, everyone could always be happy and always dance._

_However, when the violin master refused to make make each violin perfect, for that was not the purpose of his shop. The apprentice took the responsibility upon himself to make sure every song ever played again was exactly the same._

_Each small violin, large one, loud and soft ones were destroyed. _

_Only violins that could live up to the expectations of the apprentice could be sold._

_However, no violin could recreate the level of perfection as the one he once heard._

_For days he experimented with different sounds and strings, trying to copy the sound._

_In his search for perfection, he ended up destroying each and every unique sound ever produced until only his could be heard._

_The violin master was forced to destroy the only perfect violin ever made_.

And the perfect violin was never heard from ever again.'

When the story ended, both boys continued lying side by side, staring at the one star in the sky that finally decided to show itself.

"That story was...pointless..." Alba finally mumbled.

"Is it? I thought it was pretty educational."

"All I learned from that story was that due to some apprentices selfishness, I won't get to hear some pointless song."

"The stories metaphorical Alba." Ros grumbled irritated.

"Metaphorical for what!?" Alba growled back, showing his annoyance.

Ros stretched his fish smelling arms behind his forehead, a slight frown forming, "you'll probably figure it out later Slime Pevert."

"ITS HERO!"


End file.
